yaWn~~just wake up from my beautiful sleep haha!hmm..yesterday went church..i'm so glad that i went.i was feeling tired and lazy to go actually.but i still went,coz i want God more than anything else haha!

as you guys know these days my life is like so down..well.i decided to lift it up to God.God will take all my worries,all my sadness,all my pains,and my broken heart.and i believe God will heal me once again..

yesterday i step into the B4 auditorium..once again i felt the presence of God..i've not been likdat for quite a while.and i praise and worship God.and i just teared..tears flowing and flowing..i want to keep on keeping on.i want to grow a level higher.i want to serve God more.i want to be on fire for God.i want to give God my everything.He love me on whoever i am.love me unconditionally.give up His life for my sake and everyone.died on the cross.was crucified.the pain and suffering he took..for He love us.

yesterday was singing hallowed be your name.i love that worship song!hahaz!

Eph4:26 says: "Be angry and do not sin". do not let the sun go down on your wrath.

well..today having the last N235 cell group meeting!!!WEEE!!!coz we're gonna multiply!!cell group too big le lahz..so gonna multiply haha!im gonna miss u all!!!must stay in touch worz haha!!!today having potluck for cellgroup..each and everyone will bring something..not something to play..but something to EAT!!aiya the cell group members love eating!!guys..i will really miss u all de lehz..haha!

yesterday after church,went bedok de 85 market to eat!!went with shar anne xin-er yingwei mike TF and jae.hee..i ate fried prawn noodle..yummieee..hahaz..and many more lahz..the egg..the carrot cake..all that..hhaz..and chat and chat till my eyes closing haha!so everyone went home ahaha!reached home ard 2++ and..i jump str8 onto bed and zzz..im jus too tired to bath..but..i wash my face haha!scared got pimple lahz!!know what when i reach home..my bro ask me to go and eat..i was like....gonna puke coz im already too full hahaz..i said i eat already.hahaz..den he went off with joseph..joseph his fren not my uncle..uncle joseph zzz soundly at that point of time hahaz..wonder y he still want to stay in the smelly house..haha!!well..i've forgiven him..so forget it hahz

was talking abt the DISC people...i am the SD person..haha!but its quite scary...can be peaceful..for quite sometime..den..if im angry...i will keep my anger.keep and keep...den explode like a bomb..haha!!it happened just a few days ago..and i think its really scary..imagine..for a moment..im still the happy jessie..peaceful girl..but i store up my anger..and when i cant take it...i'll just..explode!!hahaa!!

gonna fly to serangoon to take my allowance...wee...im rich again!!haha!!i've been poor for one week lehz...sad de can haha!

know something about Avril Lavine.she is a mean woman.haha!

okie..thats is all..for now haha!

take care everyone..Be Blessed!!!

PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULI!!!!!!!!!!!God BLess you!!!!!!!!!love you!!!MUACKKKKKZZ!!!!

mmm i did quizz..took it from janice my bro gf de blog hahaz..im just too bored at home now haha!

which alcholic drinks are u?

Wine

sigh~just finished talking to my brother on the phone.he's in camp now.sigh~im really dying~~~~sigh...i hate my life.i never like to use the word hate.but,whatever that happen...i really hate it.sigh~~

well.yesterday another thing happen again.xiao aunt came my house.not only come my house,she intend to stay in my house.without even giving me a call to just inform me or whatever.i told her that next time want to come over just give me a call.know what reply i got?xiao aunt:need to call mehz?Jessie:deep in my heart i feel so irritated.like wad?don't have to call mehz?go other people house don't have to call one mehz?well..back to the story.den i told her about the changing of arrangement that she've made..she replied..i go anyone house,i treat their house as my house.WOW she is just taking other people's house as if its hers!and i continue talking about the settings stuff...and she suddenly just change topic..talk about what maid thing.which has nothing to do with what im saying.then,she lied.!!oh my gosh!!!she lied!!!!!!!oh man!i HATE LIARS!man!!YUCKS!i ask if its my big aunt who ask her to come over my place.xiao aunt says no.den start saying things like:wo kan zai nai nai de fen sang lai here..well she is just using someone who is so important to me..and i did not believe her in the first place..if she is wei le my nai nai she wun be coming now.she should wei le my nai nai and come over frm the time my nai nai stay over uncles place.and obviously she is lying.so i called big aunt asking if she ask small aunt to come..she said:aiya yi liang tian okie de lah.Jessie:in my heart=HUH?ur house or my house?who do the saying now?well den nvm...all the story i know changed...

wilson called..he told me that uncle joseph told big aunt that the house is dirty and my room is smelly..and i was shocked...how could my entire home be smelly when i almost clean it everynow and then?and where is the smelly place..its uncle joseph's spot!and why i say that?have you ever wonder why i keep cleaning the house?its because uncle joseph.the spot..where he is at or the spot where he touched...its not clean.example:when he uses the toilet,did not clean the sitting with tissue coz there's urine there!den,brush teeth,the toothpaste..drop on the basin and the foam fllllyyyyy to the wall there and my tap he did not clean it..and whenever he use cups to drink...drink and leave it there...and wait for me to clean it lahz..and eventually i did..sigh!!

he may think that im like big aunt will wash his dirty socks which he left it there for almost two weeks..i did not..and in the end..he washed it himself.he stays in my house..without even telling me or my bro or my dad if he is staying..uncle francis gave keys to him..well the key is my grandma's keys.and he take it as if my house is for him to stay.he stays in my house,i did not even ask him to share the housework.did not even ask him to clean the toilet..all the housework i do by my own handS!!!!!!all he can do is to just come home and sleep..btw...he is in his forties...sad right..so old le..still likdat..sigh..he stays at big aunt house,big aunt did all the washing for him clothes all that...sad right..sigh~~~~come my house..i wun be so good to help him.he is old enough to take care of himself..oh..he say the house not clean...my room smelly..don't come lahz..come for wad?smelly house,room...don't come lohz..and..im staying alone..how dirty can my hse bE?with him ard..more dirty...sigh!!terrible!!

well..ytd melissa came over my house ytd..and big aunt wanna get back at me coz i told my brother of what she did...commanding people to do things..she told my brother that i bring friends home..please lehz...i bring girls home...guang ming zheng da..scared wad...and too bad,she do not know that how well my brother knows me..he knows i never bring guys home..hahaz..try to get me into trouble...too bad...im honest.im not a liar..so wun get into any trouble.

basically,she lied..big aunt told bro that uncle joseph told her the hse to dirty so big aunt ask small aunt to come and clean...but why did small aunt lie to me that is not big aunt who ask her but is for my nai nai's sake?and few days b4 this happen she say that match the keys is to bring nai nai home de.and sun bian clean..but i rejected...she say help me clean..but why now she say uncle joseph complain that the place is dirty..?isnt it wierd?small aunt say..she nv even have salary for cleaning and she still help coz of nai nai..but still lied..sigh!!its not coz of my nai nai...is my big aunt ask her to come...maybe to spy on me ba..or should i say she is aiming my house now?well i do not know..its so sad when you cant trust anyone in the family..sigh...i can only trust brother and daddy..but..one is oversea..and one is serving the country..and me???sigh...staying in the pathetic place with so many bad people..how to keep on keeping on now?how lah?i still cant believe it..my house smelly?or is he who is smelly?btw..wilson,my beloved brother..told me.. to leave everything to him..he ask me to study hard..and take care of the house..wad a nice brother i've got..he's getting a lock tmr!!and i will have more peace from then on!!!hopefully!!

since small aunt lied to me..since big aunt says rubbish and do things behind my back..does that means that she had betrayed the trust i have for her?sigh..so sad about it..my life is hell....

i've been going school late..problemsss problemssss...problems that i cant handle...sigh..i dun wan to do anything....will i fall to that well again?sigh.....i hope not!

school went great...feel excited over everything...heee!!!thank God for the friends i have in school...blessed to have them..they brightens up my life someway.hahaz!

wadeva it is..im tired..

-gone-

just got home 15mins ago from school.went swimming with peishan and serena.wow.the three of us was so excited.during lunchtime..was hoping its 4pm so off we can go for swimming!

hahaz..and we headed to the swimming pool after lesson...and change and jump into the big big pool!!!hahaz!!its soooOOO shiok!hahaz.but i got so affected by some people i see..sigh..i don't how and what to react lohz..its just some girls in the school swimming..the guys don't have to like stand side by side to each other just to look at us...but eventually they did!sigh!!and another guy..man!!this same guy,whom i rejected..i did not want to give him my number..he got so upset...he seems like he hates me man!but who cares about him hate me or not..but then,his friend pass by the pool saw me..and they called him on his mobile!!MAN!!!!!and he came...and see see see!!!!and they way he sees is like he fold his arms..and stand at the stairs railing..and bend and see!!!oh gosh!!!and is keep seeing de lehz..sigh..perverts!den some worst...go all the way up to level dunno wad to take a nicer view...sigh...at that time the pool has only the three girls and 4 guys whom i do not know..the guys in the pool did not do anything..except for the guys outside the pool area...one...together with his group...how should i put it...this guy wan my number but i did not give..den,everytime see him i just give him a smile..and walk away..nv even talk..and i dunno why...the entire group of his friends..know who am i..sigh..den..at the pool...one took out his camera phone..and u know la....sigh.i dunno if he did take that picture...i hope not..sigh...how?why are people in the world likedat?why??????how am i gonna swim again....sigh!!the pool is like sooo nice...so big...and so clean..i den dun wan the guys to enjoy using the facilities...i also want to use it..some even wan to step into the area to sit down and see..but..the lifeguard did a great job haha!he did not allow them haha!the area available only for the swimmerssss!!!haha!!sigh.......

the moment i reached home...i thought my house jin zei!sigh..but its not..my aunt came over to clean up my house...but the prob is..she says she want the house key so she can bring my grandma home...so i agreed and gave her the keys to my house...then!!!!!ARGHH...she also say...she can help to clean up the house..scared i dunno how to....i on the spot..rejected the offer..i say bu yong le..i know how de...den she nv listen loh!stupid lohz!!ITS MY HOUSE!!!!!!!I STAY HERE I RULE MY HOUSE LOH!!she came...clean...and did more than cleaning!!!change the position of everything...the place where i put my noodle..gone...the place where all little small plastic bags..GONE!!!my cups place....all gone...my make up...gone to dunno where...which i spent quite awhile to find it back..den i got upset..coz everything is in a messed...everything changed...i dunno where to find this and that...and u know,when u need to find something..cant find..u'll feel irritated lohz!!!and i am that kinda type!but its after a long finding lahz..hahaz..den.....ARGH how..the more i sae the more im angry..i feel so warm now loh..so hot lohz..too not happy liao!sigh!she say my house dirty...still say i tell her i clean...but she did worst...she clean my toilet...took away the plastic bag which i use to stuff the hole just in case water flow thru the other side...took away nv put back...take the pails and wash...put in the bathroom nv put back...all my pots...all my cups all my plates..all change place....till now..i cant find my small little plastic bagS!!!!ARGHHH!!i very not happy lehz...why must she likdat?WHY?????????i said no need...mean NO NEED......den i tell her...all the things that i cant find..she tell me to shut up!omgosh!!!!!!!!how could she!!!!so bu jiang li!!!!i said no need to clean as i know how to...she came and change everything as if is her house!!!sigh...im gonna buy a lock...i dun care anymore.,I HATE IT SOOOO MUCH WHEN PEOPLE TREAT ME THIS WAY!!I HATE IT>>>I REALLY HATE IT!!!!ARGGGHH how im very not happy.......sigh!!WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!why all this have to happen to me.......i hate all this...my family...sigh YUCKS!!!!she says i nv even say thank you that she clean...but in the first place i say no need!!!!she came and everything jus change!!!!i really hate it....they way she say shut up....i really dun wan to see her anymore lohz!sigh!give her house key is to bring grandma home once a week...not ask her to come in as in when she like...come and dao luan!thanks for dao luaning my beloved home!now everything change...my mood change..i no mood to do anything..all im doing now is angry..i cant take it man!!!!!!!ARGHHH i feel like screaming!!!!!!!!!i hate this i hate this!!!!!i hate this!!!ask u this question:do u just go to someone house when someone not at home and just change all the settings in the house and when the person say no need to clean?do you?sigh!!!!!!my room got only 2 dustbin..now got three...my living room no box..now got one box dunno do wad...my kitchen below the basin no pail...now got pail...my mop dunno at where liao...my food change from beside the fridge all the way to the drawer!!!WHY?????why does she want to change everything?sigh...she have no changed after all these years..still think she still rules over my life?still think she take care of me?still think my house is her house?still think she can do wad she like in my house?why she likedat...cannot respect me a little bit mehz....i like my house the way it is...y must she change?why....my house!!ARGHHHHH!!!i hate!!!!i hateeeeee!!!!i hate ittTTT sO much!!!!!!!

I WANT TO BUY LOCK!!!!!!!

today:BAD DAY!wonder when will my day be good....its has not been good since the year started...problems and problemsssssss........i cannot breathe liao....cant handle it....sigh....but....it happen coz God knows i can handle lehz....but i really very angry lehz...how?????sigh....nvm..forget it...slp and forget everything..i really hope jus zzz so everything can be forgotten...

well..change story...took some pictures in school today...


it's Iskandar and meEEe!!look!!!im white and he's black!!hahhaa!!!


its nelson mee...and julianaaaa.!!!


wow!!look!Issss eyes is like sssooooooo chantek sia...hahaha!!opppsss..

well that's all haha...

take care everyone...

i just finish revising my Office Organisation stuff.tomorrow im having Common Test on that subject!!oh gosh!!God give me wisdom..God strengthen me!!so i wun be tired or lazy lahz!hahaz

well.today,i did housework worz...heez..not surprising le lahz.today i sweep and mop and clean the toilet..and change the bedsheets..hahaz..and pack the house haha!

mm..just wanna type this here..coz i dun have other place to say or to tell to.hahaz.well..i have a friend..a very close friend.my best friend..whom i treasure a lot.someone that plays a big part in my life...in the time of my past and my present..ever since she stepped out to work...just temporary job lahz,i guess she changed..well.i cant control her..but,seeing the way she've changed..im abit sad about it.i just find that its so not her..words that she says,dun fits up to her character and her looks..im sure she'll look great if those rough words disappear?hopefully?she seldom use vulgarities lahz..i trust that she dun..eventhough i dunno if she does..but these days she like to say siao eh..my gang..i was shocked when i read what she typed...because i feel its jus so not her....she is such a gentle girl.but words likdat coming out from her....abit.......tad gam lehz..den i always try to tag her...telling her this and that...but well..all i can say is..she is stubborn lahz..whenever i see her tag or i read her blog..i always question myself...why?why she likdat...?wad happen?she says its just a name..a nick..well..what i think is that,if she got used to calling siao eh or gang...by the time she step out to work..she is so used to calling that..then it will make her sound like a ah lian..dun u think so?i really think so lehz..maybe i gotta know her too long,not used to seeing her say all this hahaz..i really not used to it lehz.haha..and i don't want to get used to it..coz its not a good influence haha!i would not wan to be a girl that...eh...siao eh...my gang likdat..haha!not nice to my ears lehz haha!but well..its others peoples mouth..not mine..i can only comment it and step aside..seeing her as my best friend,i dun care if she get angry that i say her or wad..i dun care if she will stay away from me or wad...i just want to tel her how i feel..isnt it good to have a fren that is being frank with you..eventhough the both of you are drifting..and the friend just tell u wad she feels and what she thinks...one thing about people is,they need to have a heart that is willing to take in and change..and i mean change for the better...and that time...late le..still go drinking...sighh..hmm..maybe...she is my past?when i was younger,i like drinkin also worz hahaha!!sometime...curiousity killlssss....i was so curious about going to pubs all that and club..i regretted steppin into it...i feel so yucky haha!pay so much to one place,squeeze with so many people,somemore not friends...dance with people whom i do not know...abit wierd haha!and under the lights...eyesore lehz haha!can buy torchlight dance with music at home lohz..at most blast the music and light with different colours torchlight..candle also can..lan man qing diao haha!opps...okie im mad..aha!whatever it is..to my dear friend if u are reading my bloggie...just rem..all the tags i give u,i just wan to encourage u..and tellin u how i feel..coz i dun see u everyday..dun even see u for so long...just tryin to help u...eventhough u did not ask..just wanna be there for u..because u mean something to me.and u know that..i just want you to take good care of yourself..must know the do's and the don'ts..i hope u got wad i meant..

well..im gonna zzz le..got school tmr..sianz...school home school home school home church school home school home...housework..tv eat...slp...same things i do all the time...and...its like...i do not have enough time to event sit down and shake leg lehz hahaz..so isit good or isit baD?all i want is peace and more time.................hahaha!!i miss my Dear Lord..my Almighty God!!

goodnight dear friends...!!!

love you all a thousand loaddddsss!!MUAakkk

just got home about 15mins ago.hahaz.sigh..know what happen?as some of you guys know that today i am going to the SIS for Rev Benny Hinn Healing crusade..wow!!the place is sooooo FILLED with people..and is really VERY FILLED...sOOOooOO FILLED till people like me who were in the queue since 4++pm..all the way till 8++pm, was not able to get in to the stadium.its so fullyyyy PACKED With MANY MANY people lohz...and many people got turn down..and was ask to be back tomorrow..some are not happy about it..and make fuss about it...some love to push and push...some fainted...and some really fainted till like they have to cling on thier relatives i think..there's an old lady,manz...can you imagine,she is also in the queue...faRRR faRR back from mee....and i was standing for sooOO long till both my legs are ACHING...whats more can the old granny afford to tolerate?she is already bai far chang chang le..sigh..and some people just sooo NOT considerate...just keep pushing and pushing...till everyone is shouting....STOP PUSHING and even me..haha..well..not very loud..hahaz...i think i scream noone can hear also haha!i really want to go into the stadium lehz..sigh...nevermind...tmr will be a better service..haha!!!well...here are the pictures of many people...ahahaz...from bai tian wait dao tian hei hei...sigh.......


eh..im a little short..so cant take picture of more people yah hahazz....


hehe..nice?????i took it worz..to entertain myself...under the hot weather..and getting fed up with people who keep pushing!!aRGGHHHhhHHH


welll...in the midst of waiting...my very old friend..peiwen aka ah wen...was in the same queue as me...and she is not feeling well...having pains in her stomach...poor gal...must take real care ah wen...hahahz


these are the people who cant get into the stadium....from bai tian till tian hei hei sia...so many people...some even flew from indonesia to singapore just for this Healing crusade by Rev Benny Hinn...


look!!the people...so many of them...included me myself...cant get in...sigh.......


look!!i raised my hand HIGH HIGH!!SEE more PEOPLE Le HOR!!hahaz


its me...together with jasmine....hahahz....in school hahaz

well..that's all for the pictures...im gonna really step in the SIS TOMORROW!!!i really wan to seee......Anne told me...blind got healed......ppl lying on the dunno wad that called...got up and got healed...man!!!!i really want to seee!!!!!!!

tomorrow gtg for NDP thing...after that rush to SIS heee....weeEEE!!!feeling so excited now!!

know wad..i did this test..took it from a friends blog...like wad age do i act...man!!!i feel so old after i finish the test....know wad's my age?25 sia!!EEEwww...i den dun wan so old....its says:20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.[well..i am excited for everything everyday..im excited for love...im excited for what i will do in the future...well..and also to gain new experiences...but likdat...25years old mehz?siao lehz...i dun wan so old sia...can i be a kid?kids thinking very ke ai lehz hahaahaha!!!!!

okie...im getting a little mad here..haha

gtg le...take care everyone!!!!Love you all to bITITTTTTTSSSSS...MUAccccKKKKK!!

Be Blessed!!!

well.slacking at for now.sigh.feel so fustrated lohz.sigh..don't wish to talk abt it.i've already forgiven you.that's all i can say.

school was fine.nothing happen..well thanks Justin for sending all Canon in D music for me.thanks...i just love it haha!its so nice!!!!!!!!thank you soOOoo much!!!

weee..tomorrow Rev Benny Hinn is coming to the Singapore Indoor Stadium..wEEE!!!its a healing crusade...i need to be healed...for everything...tmr have to rush down straight from school as doors will be open at 6pm..cant go home and change...so gotta wear uniform down...hahahz..

im tired...gtg my lalala land...

take care peeps...

love you all..

disappointments..im so filled with disappointments...with what?with the people i see in school..and with some friends i have in school..im just disappointed..

the story goes like this, i have a friend, a friend whom i trusted most in school, a friend whom i thought is different from the others..a friend whom i thought is mature enough..a friend whom i thought that wouldn't play me..or shall i say,take me as a joke?or just take me for the sake of fun?for the sake of disturbing?well..this particular person,gave my msn away to someone else..and that someone else act as a person whom..i fancy..and im like already feeling so bothered by this person that i fancy..trying not to think about him and continue on my studies...not getting distracted by anything...but this friend or not friend anymore?do not know how to be a little considerate..a person who does not think of consequences...does not think how would another part feels if he/she is being treated this way...okie...back to my story..was saying this person gave away my msn..and to that friend of This PErson...that friend enjoys it so much to play me...asking for my age asking for my school..asking for my number...and even say...give me your number so i can sms u goodnite message..and the friend even said...shall i pick u up in school?well is either pick up or wadever...i don't remember...such...silly childish things..and i ask my this friend WHOM i TRUSTED!!asking if this friend gave away my msn...AND this FRIEND..happily says:no..denying that THIS friend do not know the e-mail address i ask!well..and my this friend continued on the journey to trick me,play me,irritate me,disturb me..taking me as a joke...thinking im alright about it...thinking JESSIE IS SUCH A EZ PERSON to DEAL WITH..thinking that even if this person goes overboard, i will not be upset..thinking that everything will be JUST FINE!and they both,happily continueeeeee....till when i found out,and how i found out their stupid...plot.....it shall be kept confidential..hahaz.long story..don't want to say..well..or i can say..im smarter?im not only SMART...i MUST BE SMARTER..and i wILL BE.for with God...all thing are possible...

oh yes...when i know its the friend..i told that friend to stop playing..and even..said the name of THAT friend...and THat friend...happily...continue...acting....well...OBviously....the act failed!i was sad about it...VERY sad about it...a friend i trusted most in school,a friend who is impt in my life also..a friend who i hang ard with all the time..a friend whom i thought is a great person....doing things likdat...just for fun...JUST FOR THE STUPID SAKE OF FUN!and thanks...for the tears i drop again...calling ting....miss ting even more each day goes...noone understands me except my cgm and ting jo mel etc...noone knows who i am expect them,noone knows anything except them..and the both of them....are also my friend.....oh gosh...why would friends do such things to one another...hurting them this way?sigh.......thanks.......THANKS so much...well..its another way of moulding my character...and now i know theres such people on earth...welll....they are the FIRST people who did that to me!!!!!!!thanks SOOO much!!!!!"THANKS"

sigh...wish june 20 will come asap.........will it jus come....now?now????sigh....now pleasE?sigh....or can i just faster finish this poor one year course...and fly out this place....i wish i could keep on keeping on...i wish i could just hold on to the rope..but i just feel like letting it off now....im tired of holding on....im just soooooooooo tired....................HATE IT!

sigh....wad a day!WAD A DAY!!!well...its been a great interesting day...a character moulding day...........

it will be great if those people just stop when i sae stop!it will BE JUST SO WONDERFUL GREAT!!!!

God bless those people!!!

i want a big heart...a heart filled with forgiveness...a heart filled with patience...a heart filled with mercy............................a just want a big big big big heart!!!

take care everyone....

Thanks to the people who make me drop tears..................................................

sigh...i miss you so much...hao bu rong yi ke yi he ni zai yi qi...but you left me again......................

the few hours we spent,just sitting on the sofa...the precious moment...the moment where you and me talk laugh...but they came....and bring u back.....still remember our hands..holding on together while taking the cab back home...hold on together from the time u left the house till the time u reach my house..i really miss you sooooo much...seeing you leaving my house back to thier house...i really hate that feeling....~tears dropping down againnnnnnnnnnnnn

why would they want you to go over?why would they?????coz of the maid...coz noone can take care of you..i want to,but i have to go school...i want to see you everyday....but...coz of noone to takecare of you..i cant see you...

he say i don't apreciate the things he did...wad must i do so he will feel that i apreciated everythig he did for me?what else more do he wan?

she wants to come back so badly...fell on her head yesterday...saw one bruise mark on her arm...she cant walk properly...she misses me everyday....she says:in her mind she misses me,but she did not say it out... i miss her so much but everything just cuts in my way...i want to see her everyday....

whatever...whatever.....whatever..........................................................

hee..just got home from bedok..went for cell group meeting..hahaha!!!after cgm...had refreshment..marvin prepared the refreshments for the cg...wow!!marvin cook fried rice for us!!!!isn't he gReaT?haha...butttt..butt...the rice...is filled with oil..........hahahzz...which makes it look so shiny...hahaha!!!but it still taste great!hahaha...yum yum...

hmm..after eating...shar went church..edwin peishan went off..and rowena rochelle..and etc went off..left jae,tf,xin-er,jan,mike and me..hee...and we...decided to play the piano!!!haha..wow...i know how to play piano worz..haha..i love it!!!anne played cannon in d..WOW!!!i really love it!!and i really want to play it also!!!i wannnnnnnn!!!hahazz....and tf played guitar...wow..he know how to play guang huai fang shi worz...Tf u ji li hai worz...hahaz..

hmm..im tired..need to clean up e house..sianz..must do housework...hmmm..

lalalalalala...

-gone-

got home about half an hour ago.yAwn~im tired~...today school ended early!!yippeeEe..lesson ended at 12pm haha!was eating lunch at tampines mall..wanted to eat ljs de..but one of my friend cant eat that for a month..so i don't want to tempt her also.so i don't eat lohz haha!

hmm.yesterday don't have time to blog..sigh..know what happen?can you believe that i actually have difficulty in handling dead xiao qiang..i spent half and hour yesterday screaming at home..together with melissa..it was 12+++am then,both of us screaming...don't know how to take that xiao qiang away..its my house,so i got to think of a way to get rid of that yucky xiao qiang..i hate xiao qiang lohz..sigh..i don't even dare to get close it..yuck yuck yuck!!EeeeeeEE EErrRRrrrrr....i was so scared of that xiao qiang loh..then its like it died overturn which is 4 jiao chao tian type lahz..den i use paper wanting to take it up onto another paper..and i OVERTURN it..man!!!and it look so ALIVE!!and i SCREAM and RUN!!leaving the paper back onto the floor.the xiao qiang look so shiny and the mao is moving..due to wind lah hahaz..im just so imaginative,thinking it might come alive halfway lahz..den..no choice i still gotta settle that xiao qiang..and i went back..kneeling on the floor..thinking how to get rid of it..well..as u know..i had never touch dead xiao qiang,all was done by the maid and grandma..so i never do anything..now i gotta handle it...i seriously have got NO courage to do that!but then,called nelson..ask him how..and nelson..laugh at me!hahaz..whatever..haha..then nelson say use newspaper..so i use lohz..i still don't dare to take it..then melissa find chopstick and pull the paper where the xiao qiang is at onto the newspaper,and its my turn,i gotta bring it to the open/close dustbin..and that very time,to the dustbin seems like a long distance...when i took it up,and walk afap to the dustbin..i did not dare to open that..i scream and jump and screamMMmm....melissa also don't know what to do..i just scream and said:MEL FASTER OPEN THAT THING!!!!NOW FASTER FASTER FASTER!!!!and i continue screaming ahha!!and i threw that xiao qiang in liao..i kick the thing to close it..and i ran back to my room....annddddd..........i cried...scared la!the thing is sooooooo super errrr xin.....after that...done...nothing disturb me liao.hahaz.my terrifying experience...that xiao qiang!YUCK!i hate xiao qiang sOOOooooOOOo much!

hmm...later im gonna go church...weEEeee...i misss everyone there...so long never see u all liao...hahazz..got miss me mah everyone?hahaz

-gone-

just send joanna darling off from my house..today my this darling super good worrz..sms me in the morning ask me if i want to have dinner with her tonight hahaz.and dinner at my house haha!good right?hahaz..hmm..

lesson ended at 4pm today and i rush home and wait for joanna's arrival..haha..den the both of us when to buy junk food..for our dinner haha!i ate noodle again haha!we bought chocolates...and the chocolate is the big big one lehz...cant finish by one person de..need to slowly eat de..den nata de coco..haha..grape flavour...buy liao but never eat...sianz..den bought Ribena haha!!but never drink also...dunno why joanna buy liao but never eat de..den she use the computer while i am doing the housework hahaa!!jo says the food give me..hahah..wow...darling lei hou hou worz...i si ni le lah...hahaz!!

SIGH!im very not happy at all lohz..sigh...today...i got back my Office Organisation test paper on Accounts Function 1..and i cant believe it that i did so badly...i scored only 36.5/60 only lohz!and i know i can do better than that!!!but i did not do it!!!wei ser mer zhe yang???!!!i felt so discouraged when i saw my marks...my heart sank at that moment my eyes touches the mark!!!!!i cant believe it!!!i want to go poly so badly......sigh......

its been almost 2weeks of being independent....and living alone..it's scarY?actually a lot of people want to be staying alone...they feel its better...but i dun...i want my grandma to be with me...sigh...i want to see herRRrr...aRGhh..why do they wanna take my grandma oveR?for wad?sigh...my house is soooOOooo quiet..cant stand the quietness...eventhough i love peace..i love to places that are quiet..but...at home....tooo quiet....is like....so not JESSIE lohz..sigh...imagine..jessie..keeping soooOoo quiet at home?and its really quiet..and all i did was to BLAST songs OUT LOUD so that i feel a little noisy?hahazz...

sigh...sianzzz....lalalaala....

nitez pplz

guess what did i do at home today?i did loadsa things..i dump the clothes in the washing machine..sweep and mop the floor..kitchen..scrub the bathroom..scrub like mad..till my backbone aching now.hahaz.and den hang clothes...till 1015 likdat..den eat my dinner..was in pain since like erm....9+?oh ya..and i don't know what i do..my thumb hURTssSZzZz..oh..and i washed my basin hahaha!!

few weeks back,i took this English qualifying test.took this test to see if i am gonna go to the NA Level or straight to the O Level english class.well..i was not really prepared for the test..but still,i went...and i got stuck at the paper for abt 15mins?and i prayed..ask God for help..and..God is good..He helped me worz!i wrote an occasion where i thought i was not able to do it...something likdat la..and..today..i went to check the results....im being appointed straight to the O Level class..heez..Praise The Lord!well..i woundn't mind to hold just an O level cert with english!hahaz

hmm..did project in school today..hopefully can clear all the project asap...so i wun stress..hahazz

im tired...yawn...

God Bless everyone!

nitezz

just got home from town..phew..hanging around town for like awhile im already tired.ahaaz..went to watch this cartoon..actually don't want to watch de lohz..only qian jiu yi xia that yingting haha!she wanted to watch this cartoon entitled castle.haha this show..hmmm interesting..alright loh...but i still prefer..watching other shows like HITCH..hahaz..and CONSTANTINE!!ARgghhh Keanu Reves is like..phuaaaaaaaa hou HANDSOME ARh...hahahzzz..oppss...okie enough of handsome people hahaz..

today..was suppose to meet melissa and yingting at 930am at outram station to go to my school's open house together..but den,im late haha..so i met them at the station at around 10++..reached the school at 1104..hahaz..so sorry that i came late..but nvm right,the both of you can keep talking mahz..see i so good horz?hahahz

i was suppose to usher my friend,romeo and his brother around my school...but den,i really hope i can show them around...but..i myself just noticed that i also don't really know the school that well worz..saddening horx..sigh...then..met them,went to have lunch..wonder what do they think of the food at the cafeteria...good or not good?hHAaa..im seriously soo soo really so so sorry that i did not bring you guys around to get to know the school more..zhen de sorry...

okie..its kinda late..gonna go prepare to get to my lalala land..hahaz..

take care everyone

love you all

be blessed

nitezzzzzz

heez..just finish watching vcd..hmm..i was watching My Date With Vampire.haha.the show is like..erm..funny?its something like adam and eve..but erm..abit different only haaz..now no more show to watch liao.-yawn-

just now was on the way to aunt's place to take allowance..went with wilson and janice hahaz..my darling bro carried me on his back worz..and walk down the stairs worz..haha..so good right..hahaz

hmm..tomorrow im gonna go for my school's open house..ting is coming..mel is coming..i want to see you all..i miss you all so so so so much!i cant wait to go to school together with u guys every single day!can apply a little fasteR?hahahhazzz

hmm..today my da sao ironed my uniform for me worz..haha so good right...comfirm can be da sao le worz..hahaz..i like my this da sao..super kind hearted..caring..nice...wow..very good la..clever also hahaz...

ting..i really cant wait to see u more in school worz..i wanna stay in the same school as u and mel worz...faster comeeeeeee!!!confirm can come in de...u think can means can hahaa!!!!!

sigh..im like so bored now...lalalalalalalalalala........

just finish bathing...feeling so cool now haha!fREsHHh!hahaz..well..rush home from seminar,reach home around 1130 pm i think...should be earlier...but i stupidly miss one stop while dreaming in the train haha!!hmm...

today serminar was so GREAT!yesterday was BETTER but i did not go...miss it..sigh...regretted!!i should have gone there..yesterday Rev Ulf Ekman preached about friendship..like how to handle friendship...i missed that seminar!!aRGhhhhhh

today...Rev...i forgot the name sia...said..FEAR NOT!! FEAR NOT!! FEAR NOT!! for so many times..i was wondering how come he keep on saying that.. but i did not notice that God is trying to tell me thru him..that i shall not FEAR..FEAR NOT!know why?these days...i've been so afraid of this and that..afraid that my result will worsen...or my project will not be done..fear for this and that...things that are not impt im worrying too...i should have told myself that im not a born worrier...im having worries for nothing that i cant sleep as ease at night..den for nothing...or for small little thing i started to cry..its so not mEE...its so not Jessie Tay loh..i realised that i need God so much that every single day..i cant Live without HIM...His guidance...everything...it means so much to me..and i must get heavenly minded but not earthly minded..i don't want to be a worldly person..and i never and NEvEr want to get influence by worldly people...i want to be who God calls me to be...i want to be a woman of God.i need to pray more now...seek God more..i really need His help...i need you so much Dear Lord...

well today...school went just fine haha!during ofo lesson...MAN...the class is SOOOoooo noisy..like a cai shi chang..so noisy...classmates keep talking non stop...don't know why and how come they got so much to talk about that they aren't concentrating to what Mr Tay is teaching...they are like taking Mr Tay for granted...when i heard Mr Tay says that he don't feel like teaching...i felt so not happy at all..but what can i say...sigh...i really hope my classmates knows and understand what does it mean by overboard..and a person tolerance level can be high...but please don't overdo and think Mr Tay are those kinda teacher that is easy to be bullied..but i love my friends..haha!!i love them so much..they are like fellowshipping every now and then haha!!

hmm guess that all for now...tired..haha

take care ppl..Love you all to bits!!

God Bless!!

PheWwwww..finally finished packing up the house..my first time washing toilet in my house.its been years since i last washed any toilet and put back all the plates all lahz.and folding the clothes..its been so long since i last did that loh hahaz..and i finally know how to use that washing machine hhaa..just dump all the clothes into the machine and let it do the rest haha!packed everything..wow..now..it aren't that hard to do household chores..hmm..see if im home early i will do the mopping hahah..hee..i wonder if doing housework will lose weight anot.its like exercising hahaz...but its quite tiring though ahah...hahha..

today went to school..well everything went great i think?haha because im totally happy today..hahaz..noone disturb me..haha..sigh..had Office Organisation test on accounts funtions 1..i got stuck at the last question..the statement of accounts sigh...did not really learn that part..hmm.

after school,went to tampines mall hahaz..with nelson and jun yong..hee..went to starbucks and have a drink..the weather is like sooooooOOoo warm and i cant take that heat manz..hahaz..den went to walk around...i bought one vcd haha! its princess diary2!!!hahaz..den while looking through all the vcds in the shop..came across this vcd called...grudge...MAN!its scary lohz haha!!

hahaz..well..my day went great today..thank God for the day i had today..

take care all..

AHEM..i type a LONG LONG entry just now...and..my leg...went to push on the restart button and everything is GONE!!!aRGH.nvm..typing again is a good way to learn to type faster than the usual haha!

well as i was saying..i learned about being big people..and big people forgive and forget everyday.big people are generous.big people are accepting of differences.big people empower others to b successful.big people don't try to be big people.big people treat little people well.big people listen.big people honor leadership and guidance.big people respect manners and spatiality.big people have big capacity.and i want to be big people..i never want to hate people..hate the things i do..big people forgive and forget..and i really need to be a person that is forgiving and about to forget things that aren't good..well..these days..been struggling with forgiving...coz..i have a friend..someone impt to me..talks about me behind my back..saying bad things like..jessie think she very pretty ah..think she very clever...tooot tooot tooot so on and so forth lahz.its so sad to have a friend likdat..but i know God has a plan for me..to mould my character..with people like her..well train my emotions..my anger..and my anger managment..haha..and i know i can do it..and that is for sure..haha..and again..i am who i am..i am who God calls me to be..and Do NOT Judge..

yesterday..learn about being a thankful person..and having grace..Grace in Greek means thank you..and to have grace mean to express thanksgiving..things like asking a friend to pass a chopstick to you...saying thank you shows appreciation..an unthankful person cannot find grace with God..im thankful to everyone who is part of my life..everyone of you means a lot to me..

i've decided not to move over to aunt's place as i think staying at my house is better becoz its a better way to school here then from her house and..i never like staying unders people's control...and i have my own house..what for i stay with others..hmm..don't understand why grandma gotta move as my house have got one empty room and that is grandma's room..don't know why they want grandma to move..sigh..i miss my grandma...

i've watch constantine...WOW the show is shoooo soooo interesting...funny...nice haha!!!!

had family dinner on thurdays..hee..took pics again...got more..check out the tay family bloggie..dunno upload le mah hahaz

sigh...actually got a lot more to type de...but...sadly..i forgot liao...but nvm.i've got picturessss here..hahahzz


look...its alice me and jeremy....look at jeremy....sooo sooo cuteee


ahem its me..hahaz...look at the background...nice right?its painted by the cg and me...haha!!


joanna and meeee....




huggiessss


i noticed black background looks nicer hahaz...eventhough im like a pink lover hahaz




im tallllllll hahahaz



hee...thats all..haha..sigh..got more to type de loh..all the leg of mine fault hahaz...nvm...haha

just see pics lah..haizz...cannot take it lohz...legGGgg..

take care people...

fiZA and meeEe


mee..iskandar and fiza..haha..


fiza and mee again


ermm...me again..


look!! i draw de..haha..too bored in class..too tired..trying not to zzz...so i do drawing lohz..


again...hee...still in the valentine mood lahz hahaz


look at this table..pink table worz...and who will sit there?JESSIe lah hahaz...


Nelson me and fizaaa...


yes....wad can i do for u?hahahazz....having breaktime..to entertain myself..i take pic again ahaaa


took with joanna.hee...

okie..thats all for the pictures..

well today school okie lah...saw that irritating guy..he thought i will stared at him again...he walk past he make this very gu liang HUMPH sound sia..i was like OMGYM!! i said...so childish...well..said right infront of everyone,teachers also..haha..guess the teacher also heard wad that guy did..it so sad that he won't feel that he had make himself look like a fool..

sigh..today..was kinda..upset..yupz..with one friend of mine..she scolded the four letter word in sms and raised her voice at fiza and me when we called out her name at the cafeteria..i was shocked..did not expect any friend of mine to be so rude to me..as i told her so many times not to use vulgarities...know y i said that?your words reflects on your character...she was angry lohz..of waiting..well here the story goes: i ask her..if she wanna go to the washroom..she said no..so i ask fiza to accompany me..so fiza nelson and me went to the washroom..and she went to her locker den agreed to wait for us at the cafeteria..and sun bian book table for us...after the 3 of us get out of the washroom..we accompanied fiza to the school bus stop to wait for her bf..and we waited..and when we reached the cafeteria...lookin for her...saw her...called her name...she raised her voice with anger on her face..that four letter word came out..LOUD AND CLEAR..everyone heard lohz...sigh...i ask another girl..she waited very long ah?well all i know was that she can always give us a call to ask if we are reaching the cafeteria...someone ask her to call..know wad she sae?no need lahz..for wad?...huH?i tot she is waiting for us?and she dunno where are we?so she can call us to check if we are reaching wad?but she didn't...instead of talking things out..she scolded that word! she owe me an apology.. as her friend..she never even mind her words..and i said so many times not to use those ugly words...ppl dun listens...wad so nice abt those dirty ugly filthy words?i ignore her in the end..she wants to talk to me..i can always talk to her..i seriously thinks that she need to fan sing abit..words likdat hurts...sigh...must be a person with big heart..i forgive her...

sigh..ytd...sigh...was so sad...but well.everything is fine now...

hmm..went out with joanna today...Goodness....finally.......after like SOOoOooo long can...miss her sososososo much ahhaz...went to take neo prints ...haha...

im so tired...gonna zzz le..take care everyone...

heez.just got home from bugis..sianz. know why i go bugis for?to change my skirt that i bought.thinking it's kinda loose decided to go back to change for s size..den..my m size horz..is loose..den s size horz..TTOOO TIGHT.hahaz.in the end feel that looser is better den too tight hahaz..well wasted trip hahaz.

today go school..after lunch..saw this irritating guy..Arghh..not i dislike the looks he got.is i dislike his character so much lohz. he cant handle rejection lohz.totally cant loh. rejected him,he cant take it..keep saying me..well bad things lahz..walk pass me show those childish action..den i was so fed up that very time..so i decided whenever i walk pass or i saw him i will just stare at him with anger in my eyes..show him that enough is enough.it was the past actually..few weeks back only..but i hate it so much that he is carrying such attitude..today..did not see him first but jasmine did..so she told me lahz..i told every of my friend there..telling them who this no manners guy is..jasmine told me that the guy was pointing at me..well i was even angry..i pointed back..telling everyone nor...this is the guy loh..den i guess that guy knows his mistake bah..he never even come any nearer to me worz..waiting for lift he seems like hiding man..but too bad i still can see him.he from waiting for lift ended up walking the stairs instead..im really not happy with him loh..why is he likdat...the actions that he did when i walk pass his class..manz..he is totally like those uneducated people lohz..cant take it..sigh..think i should stop staring at him lohz..should not bear grudges..must be big person cannot likedat...i will be a big person instead of a small person..but wad if he do that action again?that rude uncivilized action again?wad should i do?stare at him or just knock on his class door and speak to his class adviser?i go to school to study lohz..not meet people like him lehz.i don't even want to meet people like him.i don't know how much longer i have to tolerate this people..sigh...but these days i'm having a little peace in school ahhaz...Thank God for that little peace!!

today i mistaken sharina and juli as one person can..i took juli as sharina and sharina as juli..coz the both of them just look alike so much loh..haha...so sorry juli and sharina...did not mean to..sorry..

having project in school soon...sigh...stressed...

later family dinner at home again..and meeting again..sianz....

it's valentine..wow..so good loh..all the couples..as for me..i will spend my valentine with my family hahaz.while i took train from tanah merah to bugis den after bugis to outram..sigh....i felt so jealous of the couples..ahaz..so so jealous worz...hahaz...carrying the flowers given by their boyfriends..wow..sooo xin fu hahaz...Happy Valentine everyone!

Juli, Me and Fiza..hahaz..took it during Mr Tay's lesson.during our breaktime hahaz.


it's Juli, Me and Fiza again...hahaz


Azura, Me and Jasmine trying to pose don't know like wad sia..but erm..and that nelson so extra ahahhhaah!! jkkk....


it's meee and fiza


it's me and fiza again... hahahz...


it's me and sk..


it'a Nelson and Mee...hahaz


sk..me and sharina....


wei ming juli and accompany


it's me and sharina


sharina..juli..azura..me..fiza and nelson...


we are like so..nerd..hhaha nelson fiza and wo..


wo her yanping


this is jasmine..she is like super friendly lohz ahaz!!


fiza..the girl that always thinks that i don't like her..sigh..tel her so many time don't think too much haha!


we're just trying to act cool...which i don't think i look like one..look at nelson..ahahz!!so cool sia!!


sharina jasmine and sk


juli and jasmine


juli jasmine and nana...

okie..that's all for now..hahaz..don't know if i miss out any pictures...too many le lahz..i upload till i gong le.hahaz.this are some my friends in my class OC hahaz..they are great people!!! so friendly to everyone..ahahaz..

well today..school started at 8am and ended at 12pm..so good right..actually not so early de loh..some students want to go home early hahaz..esp me..teacher ask us to raise up our hands..i put my hand on my head hahaz...don't know should i or should i not..hahaz..in the end..our teacher is good..let us off early..

today got my class test result again...this time round never really do well lohz..only got 21/30 nia haiz.. Mr Tay put a fair good remark on my paper sia...

going out later....muaaahhhhhahahahaah....finally can go out im like so happy..hahaz

take care peoplez...love you all...

Got home about half an hour ago frm aunt's place. ate steamboat again at aunt's house for lunch.as for dinner,had chicken wings and the delicious sweet and sour soup. hahaz. didn't get scolded today hahaz. guess aunt in good mood lohz hahaz..

sigh. its new year eve yesterday..and poor me..had a small argument with my dad.sigh..he wanted me to help out to work at the coffeeshop which i don't want cause i seriously want to do well in school, i don't want my school work to be affected. and if i help out at the coffeeshop, by the time i finish school and go to the shop i will be super tired to even work. and is like i have to handle with the cashier thing..waa..if anything wrong with the money..i will be in serious trouble loh..and my family is like quarelling over money matters..sigh..i don't want to get involved..dad don't get what i want and he is forcing me to do what he wants me to do..im told him that i don't want but he say what "bao da" he want me to "bao da" by helping out. and know what he say? he said...work for money is important or go to church important..i said...why do u drag church into this problem again..he said..see everytime i say church u not happy.but the fact is the working and the "bao da-ing" is so different from going to church loh..and then we argue till we drag the past into the prob..like the canning all that..but know what my dad say..he said who ask you so KL that why that man whacked you.my heart sank,my dad did not even protect me did not even take care of me.now he is telling me that i am KL that y that man whacked me like a mad man.i answered him saying..as u know ALSO..that man is unreasonable..then my dad continue saying im KL that y i got into it. i was just a small little girl then,so is it all my fault for all that canning i've got?is it all my fault for being such a innocent girl then?is it all my fault that i do not have a good character?dad did not even take care of me for the past 13-14 years..he don't even know what kind of daughter he got..he don't even know what my likes and dislikes..he don't even know what im doing now..he don't even know what am i studying about..i did not even complain anything about that..i'll take it that he got to work to take care the family and that is y he is in taiwan.and he got another family over there..i did not even hate the other party..i did not even hate him for all the past suffering i went through..i did not even hate anything he did.and i did not even hate him for what he said.can u believe it,my dad wanted to disown me when i was in sec 1-2.i did not hate him.i still yearn for him to come back home every year.i still wants to see him.i still love him so much.i stil call him dad.and from the time he reach singapore till now,he did not even say anything good about me..did not even encourage me..like my test..i was studying in front of the tv..he said he wonder how did i do in my test..different people have got their different way of studying..and i really did well afterall..eventhough i was watching the televison while revising..he don't trust me..he says i "pai chi"the tay family which i DON't.he say i got things against the family...which i really don't..says i have a bad character..am i really such a bad person that he say?my character is that bad?i thought i've changed for the better?or did i change for the worst?

yesterday..everyone was at my house.for reunion dinner..thought everything will go on fine which it did not..everyone is like against my da gu..why cant they just sit down and talk things out in a proper manner instead of scolding?i just think that the ic thing and the tomb thing is totally 2 different thing..well im still the younger generation wan..cant say anything..but what they says affect my grandma..affect her so much..which in the end coz of grandma it affected me coz i dun want my grandma to be in the situation wherby her children are all quarelling.and grandma feel so sad that she cried can.sigh..i hate it so much to see grandma cry.she is already my grandma and she still got to worried so much.so long nv see grandma smile and laugh..just now she finally did...after i said something..eh which i forgot haahz.

dad is still not home.wonder what time he is coming home..he is still working at the coffeeshop..called him..talk less than one min he say.i working bye bye...likdat only can..we did not even see each other for like one whole day.don't think he miss me the way i miss him..sigh..

happy new year everyone..

just got home about 2 hours ago.heez.the weather is like so HOT now.cant take the heat manz.

today woke up kinda late haahz..at 7am.i am tired.dragged myself to school.ahah..i was in a rush till i forgot to bring my landyard -tag- the -tag- means that im the student from the school and i got to use the -tag- to tap at the card reader for my attendence to be marked.but unfortunatly i left it at home hahaz.

had my class test..hmm..wasn't that difficult but i was so stucked at one of the question about the three distribution channels,the advantages..i did not really studied that part.i only read through sia. then i almost forgot the five funtions of the sales or marketing department, i was so scared that i will lose marks.i close my eyes and try to remember..which i eventually did!hahhaz..God is good.

well.today i was a little upset over this classmate of mine.i cant take it that he is acting gu liang wherever he goes. he talk he eat all so gu liang..he is more gu liang than i am worz.sigh..and he talks...manz..bet most guys wana bash him up.why cant he be a little more like guy?he was born to be a guy not a girl.and he walk like horse...stamping his feet on the ground.well..i have no choice but to raise my voice at him to tel him to walk properly.well he continued walking like a horse still.sigh..can someone please help him!!!tell him so many times to be more like a man.to talk like a man.to behave like a man.but..he don't listen..when he gets bullied..he felt sad..but all this is created by he himself. he knows that people will sure look down on him..disturb him..sigh...why is he likdat?aRgHh..

recently i felt that some people are super sensitive..get hurt so easily..sometimes my reaction may cause people to feel sad..but they have mistaken me...i don't look down on people or wad.or my face cause them to feel this way?if i am hard on people..some say im being hostile..if im friendly with people..i feel that im being taken for granted.i don't want to "fall down" again..

waiting for my dad to come home from sim lim tower..hungry.........he so long de.....*YaWn*

yesterday dad flew back from taipei.haa..and his beloved daughter and son went to the airport to fetch him home. waited at the airport till my kar wan to ji liao haha! hmm..know what dad bought for wilson and i? one whole set of computer worz..with flat screen and new keyboard and the mouse so nice worz.haha! my dad is so great! hahaz. i love him so so so much!haha!

tomorrow got class test sia..and i already studied le.just finish studying only.haha.its quite fun to study right in front of my television hahaz.

as for my school, the days i spent in school..well im getting used to having irritating people around me..all i need to do is to have a big heart..to.. tolerate..hahaz...

hmm..later gonna read my daily devotion book.hmm..gonna share with cg on saturday..haha!need to refresh again..gotta start reading Bible again..i've lost track on where i stopped..okie..this year is the year to start being more mature in my spiritual walk with God...i think i seriously need God to guide me lohz..if not i will die...die in the hands of the worldly people hahaz..

sighhhhh..yesterday went to aunt house to take allowance..get scolded again..sigh..i don't mind being scolded if i did something wrong. but i just hate is so much when i got scolded when all she loves was to scold me. sigh. am i a person that is always wrong?what have i done? she came to my house last week..and well i took allowance from her as usual.. and she raised her voice saying so loud that i owe her money.i said..that's is only the bus fare that my dad have to return to her. then for the allowance my dad had already given to her.then she raise her voice again..at my house somemore..saying i owe her my school fees...my uniform all that money i owe her. in my heart..im boiling..i feel like giving her 10+++ pieces of my mind.. i was soooo soo angry with her..her words are so...YUCK! she thinks i like to use her husband's money to pay for my needs?my dad aren't around..if he is around, would i even look for her?would i even want to see her..words are so cheap..she always says..whatever i need..if she's able to help she will..same to her husband..but then,why do she complain so much when she had helped..i mean her husband helped with the fees all that..all she does was to grumble..was to scold..was to mai yuan.. and all i did was to keep quiet..well. keep quiet..but not totally..hahaz.. when she was at my hse..she raised her voice,im angry..i told jan abt it..and that unreasonable aunt was not happy..so she scolded me yesterday at HER house..but why she don't scold me at MY house?she want to save her mian zi ma!i totally dislike talking to her..btw..this woman don't talk,she scream de..is she a little screw loose?sigh..

going school tmr..wonder how my day will go.......weeeeeeeeee..........

weee!!im finally here lohz.heez.know why i so long never blog?coz my computer abit down.think the "heart"dying le.waiting for my dad to come back to singapore to save it.hahaz.

hmmz.this week..been alittle not so good and not that bad too.ahaz.but still i got loads of stuffs to say about people in my school.indeed,some are totally sigh..playful,childish and they seems like they are like so free..to even disturb people that they don't even know..sigh..and i was like tolerating them..till the limit where i can no longer tolerate..i scolded them..gave them a piece of my mind.well.they are the MALAYS.sigh..began to have bad impression on malays..i told them to leave my groups of friends and i alone just go away..but they din want to.they carry on acting SISI!coz sigh..one of my friend is a gay..so they are trying to be funny with him la..but he was sitting just beside me..and they came and crowd aroud us loh!i was like ARGHHH...told them in a better way..they don't listen..so i talk in a manner where i want to really get them into big trouble..know wad i say?i said:i want to see your class adviser now.and you guys know what..he run away!!!see..wad a coward..dare to disturb people with his group of 7 and more friends..and when i say i want to see the class adviser..they went off!this gay friend..really..ma fan loh..worst..want to have peace during lunchtime oso cant sia..people that the gay don't know..came to our table and disturb...i was staring at them..i was waiting for them to go..telling myself..if they carry on..they're gonna get it! MAN!!i really HATE the way they do things..the way they treat others loh..see i small in size EZ to scare me off!haha!slowly dream!i hate it so much when people likes to bully people that are in a smaller group and look EZ to be bullied!i'll shall show them what kinda person we are..and these people..sigh...they are alomost like goners...i really cant take it lehz!!ARGHHH..i ren and ren sia...i cant take it...can the school be a little more strict?can?

today had games in school during pe time..hahaz..and..i don't know why horz..i take ball the ball the go away from my hands sia..worst!!pass to wrong people..hahaz!and ah..don't know whose arm so strong...hit me and now my arm swallon.and pain sia..hahaz..

after all these times..days...i spent in school..im utterly sad of those student who behave likdat..super angry with them..but what can i do?sigh!God...strengthen mE!i need YOU!

there's this guy in my school..came to ask for my number..and i rejected him but just giving him a smile..from then on...he seems like he hates me...see me..he behave so ugly..likdat dunno kiss wad thing la..i feel that he is so childish..feel like giving him some slices of my mind..but decided just to leave him alone..if he goes overboard..i have no choice but to step into his classroom and complain to his class adviser..people like him...need to learn to respect others..and others decision..

im so sad..i don't understand why people are likdat..treating people in the bad way..thinking we are EZ to be bullied..EZ to be stepped on..why?can they just leave the school?

well..i got my test papers..i wanted full marks..but sadly..i got only 25/30...that is so sad loh..its so sad when u aim full marks when all you get is only 25..sigh...and im so upset..the others in class..copied..and they can get high marks u know!it's so unfair!!i studied loh!!!!haiz..

these days..im feeling kinda down..don't know zer mer shi hao..hai..sometimes..smiling doesn't mean everything is so fine with me can..sometime people go overboard with wad they do can..sigh..the malays...the playful ppl..the....sigh...

got test on mon...hopefully i can really get full marks loh...aRGHh...